General quotes about dogs

"Every dog must have his day." - Jonathan Swift

"Let sleeping dogs lie." - Charles Dickens

"If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people." - Karel Capek

"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too." - Samuel Butler

"Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic when sitting." - Dr. Ian Dunbar

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers

"...it takes a strong minded human to appreciate a string-minded dog!" - Mary Webber

"I like a bit of a mongrel myself, whether it's aman or a dog; it's best for every day." - George Bernard Shaw

"My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am." - Toby Green

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." - Holbrook Jackson

"When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten." - Robert M. Pirsig

"He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.) When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever - in case I need him. And I expect I will - as I always have. He is just my dog." - Gene Hill

"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'" - Dave Barry

"My little dog---a heartbeat at my feet." - Edith Wharton

"Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads." - Harry S Truman

"The world was conquered through the understanding of dogs; the world exists through the understanding of dogs." - Nietzche

"All knowledge, the totality of all questions and all answers is contained in the dog." - Kafka

"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. . . .He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer; he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world. . . .When all other friends desert, he remains." - George G Vest

"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer." - Alfred North Whitehead

"Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers

"No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich." - Louis Sabin

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of ther universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made." - Roger Caras

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." - Christopher Morley

"If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog." - George Bernard Shaw

"Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends." - Alexander Pope

"No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has." - Will Rogers

"I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons." - Will Rogers

"They say a reasonable amount 'o fleas is good fer a dog -- keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog, mebbe." - Edward Westcott

Recollect that the Almighty, who gave the dog to be companion of our pleasures and our toils, hath invested him with a nature noble and incapable of deceit." - Sir Walter Scott 'The Talisman'

"DOG, n. A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition." - Ambrose Bierce

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.." - Henry Wheeler Shaw

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." - Roger Caras

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs." - Martha Scott

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's." - Mark Twain

"I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas." - Jack Handy

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." - Ben Williams

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object-relations." - Sigmund Freud

"The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic." - Henry Ward Beecher

"The dog is a yes-animal. Very popular with people who can't afford a yes man." - Robertson Davies

"Every dog must have his day." - Jonathan Swift

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." - Andrew A. Rooney

"If a picture wasn't going very well I'd put a puppy dog in it, always a mongrel, you know, never one of the full bred puppies. And then I'd put a bandage on its foot... I liked it when I did it, but now I'm sick of it." - Norman Rockwell

"By what right has the dog come to be regarded as a "noble" animal? The more brutal and cruel and unjust you are to him the more your fawning and adoring slave he becomes; whereas, if you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward- you will never get her full confidence again." - Mark Twain

"Man is an animal that makes bargains; no other animal does this - one dog does not change a bone with another." - Adam Smith

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." - Abraham Lincoln

"Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well." - Bonnie Wilcox

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies." - Gene Hill

"Politics are not my concern... they impressed me as a dog's life without a dog's decencies." - Rudyard Kipling

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce,

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." - Edward Hoagland

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace." - Milan Kundera

"I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world." - Samuel Johnson

The biggest dog has been a pup." - Joaquin Miller

"I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world." - Samuel Johnson

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain

"A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding for it, and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along." - E B White

"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." - Gilda Radner

"I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better." - George Bird Evans

"They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation." - Jerome K. Jerome

"A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog." - Jack London

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Smiley Blanton

"What kind of life a dog . . . acquires. I have sometimes tried to imagine by kneeling or lying full length on the ground and looking up. The world then becomes strangely incomplete; one sees little but legs." - E V Lucas

Quotes about dog breeds

"A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion." - A A Milne

"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that a child cannot do much harm one way or another." - Robert Benchley

I'd rather have an inch of a dog than miles of pedigree." - Dana Burnet

"Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on." - Colette

"If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all ... adopt a mutt!" - ASPCA

"...Pomeranians speak only to Poodles and Poodles speak only to God." - Charles Kuralt

"Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart." - Dorothy Hinshaw Patent

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner

"The nose of the Bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go." - Winston Churchill

"Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland." - Josh Billings

"My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!" - Craig Shoemaker

Funny quotes about dogs

"Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes." - Lewis Grizzard

"I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now." - Steven Wright

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." - Robert Benchley

"I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'" - Fred Jungclaus

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." - Edward Abbey

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. " - August Strindberg

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner

"The dog is man's best friend.
He has a tail on one end.
Up in front he has teeth.
And four legs underneath." - Ogden Nash 'An Introduction to Dogs'

"In my day, we didn't have dogs or cats. All I had was Silver Beauty, my beloved paper clip." - Jennifer Hart, Arlington

"I named my dog 'Stay'... so I can say 'Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.'" - Steven Wright

"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one." - Andy Rooney

"Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up." - Jack Handy

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." - Sue Murphy

"Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer." - Leo Rosten

"You may have a dog that won't sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she's too stupid to learn how but because she's too smart to bother." - Rick Horowitz

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." - Dave Barry

"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end." - Max Eastman

"When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news." - Charles Anderson Dana

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement." - Snoopy

Anonymous quotes about dogs

"To err is human, to forgive, canine."

"You do not own a dog, the dog owns you."

"Researches have discovered that dogs can comprehend a vocabulary of 2,000 words, whereas cats can only comprehend 25 to 50. No one ever asks how many words researches can comprehend."

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."

"The more people I meet the more I like my dog."

"A cat sees us as the dogs...A cat sees himself as the human."

"In dog years I'm dead."

"The difference between cats and dogs is, dogs come when they are called, cats take a message and get back to you."

"When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?"

"When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long."

"Recipe; a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat."

"Every dog has his day -- but the nights are reserved for the cats."

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."

"Barking dogs don't bite people they don't know."

"If you wish the dog to follow you, feed him."

"It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks."

"Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one"

"A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue."

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."

"All trees have bark.
All dogs bark.
Therefore, all dogs are trees.
The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree."

"A dog is a dog except when he is facing you. Then he is Mr. Dog."

Whoever said "let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs.

"A dog may bark, but his legs will never grow longer."